As the average gamer is well into the years of adulthood, gaming giants Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo, and Steam have partnered to recognize the increasing responsibility their populace shoulders on a daily basis. LTN is excited to exclusively bring you the list of achievements you can look forward to seeing on a screen near you.
Money
“Bless Me, Dave Ramsey” – Stayed within your games budget for a month. Jon Campoverde
“Better Cheap than Never” – You waited until a game was on sale to buy it. Steve Cullum
“Plasma Plunder” – You bought this game with money made from donating plasma. You might have passed out into your apple juice, but that game is yours. Jon Campoverde
Relationships
“Baby Souls” – Defeated a Dark Souls boss while holding a baby. A real baby. The gods know if its a fake baby. Drew Dixon
“Twin Baby Souls” – Defeated a Dark Souls boss while holding two babies. Same requirements as above. Drew Dixon
“Baby Spree Souls” – Defeated a Dark Souls boss while holding more than two babies. Same requirements as above. Drew Dixon
“Baby Sitter Souls” – Defeated a Dark Souls boss while holding someone else’s baby. Same requirements as above. Drew Dixon
“In The Arms of An Angel” – Remembered to let your pet back inside during the last loading screen. Ryan Guerra
“Leave The Mothers Out of This” – Sent heartfelt congratulations after losing a round of Call of Duty online. Daniel Burton
“The Couple that Slays Together” – Spent a night in with your significant other where you made dinner and played a game together. Jon Campoverde
“True Love Waits” – Skipped that awkward sex scene with the character you worked hard to romance. Ryan Guerra
“It Tolls For Thee” – Watched and actually read the entirety of the credits. Madeline Turnipseed
“Resist the Dark Side” – Successfully ignored the nine-year-old troll baiting you into an argument while playing Destiny 2. Kevin Schut
“Basically a Saint” – Answered your significant other’s call even though you weren’t at a stopping point in-game. Ryan Guerra
Responsibilities
“Diaper Dash” – Successfully changed your child’s diaper in between rounds of Overwatch without costing your team. –Drew Dixon
“Hello Screen Time My Old Friend” – Finished all your work, giving you time to actually play a game today. Steve Cullum
“Lost, But Not Forgotten” – Managed to see the main menu of that game you bought three years ago but have never actually played. Jonathan Reedy
“Once Past The Lips, Forever On The Hips” – Considered your backlog and didn’t buy a single game during the Steam Sale. Madeline Turnipseed
“You Cried” – Felt a little despair at putting down the controller during a Dark Souls run to care for a wailing infant. Nathan Valle
“The Few, The Proud” – You set down your controller to join the 15% of the population that has voted in a local election. Justin Gabriel
“Necessary Evil” – Swallowed your pride and completed a long and complicated mission with some help from a game wiki. Kevin Schut
Self-Care
“Past Your Bedtime” – Played a game after the kids were in bed without falling asleep yourself. Brandon Zammuto
“Raid Wipe” – Played the Nintendo Switch on the toilet for 30 consecutive minutes. Ryan Guerra
“Raid Wipe II” – Wiped your child’s bottom with one hand while playing the Nintendo Switch with the other. C.T. Casberg
“Depends Dash” – Successfully changed your own diaper in between rounds of Overwatch without costing your team. Drew Dixon
“A Stranger Walks Among Us” – Closed out of the game and went to the gym. Daniel Burton
“Two Sets of Footprints” – Completed a game by watching someone else do it on YouTube. Kevin Schut
“Hierarchy of Needs I: Body” – Caught a power nap on the couch during a loading screen. Pat Gann
“Hierarchy of Needs II: Safety” – Did those finger exercises you saw on Youtube that prevent carpal tunnel syndrome . . . you hope. Pat Gann
“Hierarchy of Needs III: Friendship” – Engaged in conversation via headset with a friend you’d not spoken to in at least one year. Pat Gann
“Hierarchy of Needs IV: Self-Esteem” – Disabled achievement notifications and then played a game to completion without ever checking achievement progress, valuing yourself outside the context of achievements. Pat Gann
“Hierarchy of Needs V: Self-Actualization” – But you still got 100% completion anyway. Pat Gann
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